Rant. Shell.


I never felt as if I’d ever had one to break…

The most annoying thing is when people try to talk you out of your own aspirations, or downsize your hard work. As if numbers determine  how great your work actually is. 

Maybe that’s why everyone loves La La Land… it touches on that one theme, ” to shoot for the stars and that someone, somewhere thinks you’re worth it. Which can possibly inspire a widespread of aspiring artists..

Maybe that’s why when he told me, I’d break out of my shell one day, I was out of words to respond. 

Shells… hmmm people dont have them.

maybe creatures yes, 

but we as human obtain layers that just become thicker with each new obstacle, some may fall off given events. Although never do I trade my experiences for a new. 

Which is why I don’t like the term shell…

What are some of your unfavorite words that connect backto something someone said or did? 

Or am I the only one?

I’d really like to know 

thank you loves for reading my rant!


Dear Chica

I began writing for this blog almost everyday…may not seem like that no but, my settings say I have 47 drafts…47. That's a bunch of thoughts you would think. That and all the one's I haven't bothered to even write down. Now, there are also some days I have bright ideas, that just linger in my head…


Most of the ones I've ever come up with have actually happened and "hey" nothing to complain about right. Except there's so much more I want to do yet so much growth and ways there are for me to reach it…

What I'm trying to say is first step my schedule….

you know that post I made about two months ago when I was "madly on top of the world." Everything seemed right… That time, I was smelling flowers as if they grew off of trees for me to do just that. I trusted everyone and didn't care. That time, I put up with people's bull and at the end of it all, there was one thing that made up for me dealing with it…him. 

I don't know how this makes since but, welcome to me opening up to the internet because of a trend and my still a tad-bit bitter tongue, I'm  suckling honey to get rid of day by day. Honestly, I just blocked my doubts in ink or conversation  that made me not think about what I wasn't doing…(Succeeding in my dreams.)  The only issue that bothered me was my ability to do more. Thinking back I've learned that a full plate doesn't make up for fulfillment.

and I shouldn't care but, its been about two months without  A HIM and all I keep thinking is….he said we'd travel together.

and yes this is funny please do laugh since a 15 year old and a 16 year old made plans for the future…BIG HA right. I bet I fooled you. I bet you thought teenagers talk about nothing that's not right in front of them. I bet you thought their lives consume of things an adult wouldn't understand.

– I'm just here to say, age doesn't make one understand a concept. If that were the case, no one above the 30 would be single. And yes, experience is key.  we teens are pretty foolish but, you have to think about it…

If the deepest you've swam was the surface…you'd never truly grasp that reality, unless you went a bit deeper. Though swimming deeper doesn't mean you'd know how to go about stroking the waves either.

It's an experience and that's what we do…

We as young adults experience….CALL US NAIVE!

 I was head over heels for a nothing, a nothing I felt was something because, I've never gone about seeking more than what I have yet to experience. But, that's what the adults are there for, to mind you of what to look for.

though their motto be… curiosity killed the cat.

but here's my quote..

Curisotiy killed the cat, but it was the lasso that tamed the mustang

some experiences are worth living through while others are best talked about from another's personal hardships. Now I'm not bashing the old folks or cringing about our generations' poor decisions. Just asking for a compromise.

 when is enough, enough?…

Really,  it's up for us to determine if we're tough enough, to go through with any consequence given a circumstance, if we're mentally and emotionally capable or the advice from which we seek lack guidance..

Dear Chica,

Though ocean waves promise a better living in the sea with a tail and seaweed. I promise you, that looking deeper than the lies will help. I also urge you to not immediately fall or think there are lies worth falling for, just gently wrap your arms at the waist side and let your brain follow suit to the rythmn your heart claims to beat for at the time because, I promise you, it'll sway every once a month, if you're lucky every week and you'll sometimes not know what it is you need. and that's fine, you're living a little more. Although, in other ruts you'll need a mind to follow suit by your side and keep comfort in the long hours when you have a blank canvas and plenty of oportunittes to clear massive issues.

learn ways that'll help your wondering minds grow, 

Love Ya




Uncompleted thought pt2…

I wonder if adults stay up long hours of the wee morning watching clips of their favorite movies or a marathon of the best moments they’ve spent on cam corders of some old album untouched since early ages of mid twenty’s. Im 15, still cannot identify the reason why we grow up…its absolutely horrid.    Yes its a natural process but does age really matter in every scenario. Does this meAn my stuffed animal collection will seem useless, I mean they’re only used for pillow purposes in the first place. Secondly does this mean ill be able to comprehend more concepts than the mind of my younger self…




Welcome to failure… Welcome to a bunch of I’ sorries and you still got this. Welcome to a  slew of motivational speeches you wouldn’t even had known existed, if it wasnt for your own consious. Or the skill set, being what you produce. And I don’t want to put up with it any more I’m trying my hardest but apparently it wasn’t enough, good players are on the team but cuts happen. Cuts happen they told me, cuts for someone who hasnt been on the school team yet thank you. Thank you for giving me the chance to be put through rigiorus workouts only not to have a spot and shoving my doubt into a pocket,stressing on the rights and wrongs you have to beat the odds when all I want is to play breaking out in hives of bad vibes no one wants to stare me in the eyes for a second…and i dont blame them! thank you parents… for not only apologizing  but telling me my mistakes after the fact.

 I don’t  care if the world has no sugar but please coat my life line of immaturity so that i can be happy even if its not what you want…

 and im disappointed, its embarrsing when someone asks howd it go and you have to tell them you didnt make it. Maybe itwasn’t  the amount of spots but the skill on the other hand and then what’s them to think huh…that oh yeah since you didn’t initally make anything, your good…i don’t know so.

But another thing I have learned…

Is no matter how many times you fall..

You always…have to..get



Lord of the flies..

Isn’t it weird when you look at people from a different light…one day they can be the kindest person and yet another day morf into a barer of bad granting and though it may seem like I’m rambling about someone you can’t depict or don’t even know truly exists (they do) just …listen. 

Today in literature we were speaking on the topic of what’s known as man’s illness. The ability to do such harmful things to one another or become savage. How implementing consequences and the “threat” of conscious may be the only thing causing us humans to choose good instead of bad. Also, how taking away civilization, leaving us stranded like in the book we’re reading(lord of the flies) could change our actions or delude our minds to doing mainly what a pyshcopath would do… kill and savage.

I don’t know why but the topicis too  interesting not to speak on any further.

  Many in my class had brillant ideas tying back to where we start as kids, not thinking much of what we do. One of my classmates pointed out that we don’t think as much and as we get older our conscious develops. Many agreed with this fact that being if there were no consquences to our wrong doings, we wouldn’t be ashamed of them. I have to say they made brillant points and I do too agree.  But, a peice of me contradicts with the points being made, yes we’re all born sinners…but I feel there’s a peice of good in every living soul no matter how tiny it may be. The good may be only a second to entact a fake smile or wave or intrest in another human being. Although used for wrong doing the ability to be generous is within the person. And yes actions are also based on the motives behind them no matter how many times you smile…I’m guessing the hope inside of me can’t shut up enough to realize true evil lives in the world, as well as true mean. I know it aounds crazy…I wish wvery one could get along and just be without chaos but that’s also insane..

Be sure to comment  your own opinions on the topic below and reasons why you’d agree or disagree or come up with a new predicament totally for a stranded civilization in distress. I  thank you guys for reading and will type you next time;)…

Letter to Listless

It’s weird I know it is. 

Im sorry for all the confusion I’ve  cost just being a girl containing so much feeling for one person can get the best of her thinking straight. And I’m pretty sure with a lot of talk I’ve worded things wrong. From now on I’ll try not to make things more than what they are, even if I feel that what they are, happen to be deeper than what is presented. Maybe it’s time I seperate reality from chick flick movies and my means of what every girl wants most… and though its like im taking a part of me down not to feel sad in the world almost..I need this..

~love me to my listless