Something Real

2/06/17

Sometimes I see a version of myself in different people. I know It’s weird but  in a way I feel we are all connected, lessons learned or lived, I can feel others and love through pure enjoyment of being surrounded by another human beings…it’s scary sometimes, knowing that getting too attatched or hurt is a possibility.And in  unusual ways I have a tendency to feel deeper than others. 

To me emotions don’t just surface or mellow out, the moment isnt just felt but, in a way becomes one. ..

In the mist of laughing I’ll go off in my head about how funny this is to me and how I’ll always cherrish the ones I’m spending my time with in that particular moment, my mind will go blank and next thing you know I’m still laughing.

 At what??

Well, the joke still stuck in my head repeats. I have a dry sense of humor so something completely dumb is the funniest thing to me. Though those words are never  forgotten… they stick..until i can’t remember them anymore…

The images in my head are vivid and once I get home, I replay them over and over again that is, if I’m not occupied with anything else.

And not meaning to get off track but I do believe those in which we choose to befriend we see some of ourselves in…and why this would be any different is not a crazy idea. 

We say we want to connect and love different but we choose the same mindset sometimes we’re struggling to understand, or love or just deal with.

  

   

And that’s the reality of it. Us running from ourselves to someone like us. And there’s nothing wrong with familiarizing yourself with something you can find comfort in at times but… the whole point in the journey of life is centering  into new mindsets and creating memories you’ll never forget due to the deranged personalities you’ve met over the years. Only because they are nothing like you…totally different, in fact loving you for you because you make them feel something, maybe something you never knew.

some secrect…

Something new..

Something…Real.

~ A person guiding one into a world of eyes disparate from their own.

Thank you guys for reading my update, this and some other things I’ve been working really hard on. And I really hope you guys enjoy the segments I am proud of. Comment below your thoughts or your opinions about this topic until then…
~type ya laters

Wordyqueen

Beautiful Chaos

She yerns she yerns for her work to be poured down someones throat and consumed in a way like no other…”This is great”he said, “No, I mean this is great”.

Though the words register to the forefront of her brain the compliments don’t stay for too long, they subside like everything else he says. Only..my imagination I mean I have to think of it that way or else I’ll end up falling and falling and falling. Digging my way out of this dirt would take nearly to long to enjoy my the year in peace while, seeing him is something I’d be forced to see, so I avoid…shove out. Stop thinking when he never thought of you!…this is a process that comes new and now you have to get use to telling yourself ,friendship is the only alternative so falling is a mistake you wont want to make. Stay in your place, be the friend he doesn’t bother to call or text,be the friend that sits in a desk making conversation to pass the minutes by and minimize the pain you feel inside.

Step one, when you stare in his eyes don’t look away because after a while he’ll stop looking back and then you’ll know that he doesnt feel the same for you. Darling but, you look again and there he is staring at you. We’re just friends that pretend seeking love is the least of our hobby and hope becomes something secreative to hold.I give up. 

The chats are less and less andawkwardness  lurks in the air of silence until, I say something or he smiles and mentions events in his life otherwise…we are strangers, who went to the same school for nearly 4 years, looking for love in consecutive patterns that never turn to peek at what’s waiting for them..the chase is inevitable and my falling has caused an eruption of…BEAUTIFULCHOS I CAN’T STOP.

NOW MY BODY IS NUMB AND MY MIND WANDERS ABOUT THE LOVE, THE LOVE, THE LOVE I THINK I SEE IN THE HALLWAYS EVERYDAY. THE LOVE THAT MY MOTHER ONCE HAD WITH A SIGNIFACNT OTHER I HAVEN’T MET,THE LOVE THAT CONVINCED HER TO KEEP ME AN ALIVE GROWNIG BEING AND NOW A BEAUTIFUL QUEEN WITH A PRINCESS AS A SIBLING WHO RULE THE ROOMS CONSISTING OF SECRECTS WE KEEP FROM OURSELVES AND OTHERS…BUT WIH PASSIONS THAT SHOW THE WORLD WE TRULY RULE WITH A PURPOSE  AND THE REASON BEHIND OUR CROWNING WAS FAIR. 

THE LOVE THAT THE SUN PROVIDE TO THE FLOWERS,HE HAS ME THINKING ABOUT A MILLION THINGS AND ONE.

 AND WHY WE DONT TALK AS MUCH AS I FIRST THOUGHT WE WERE TO AND WHY COMMUNICATING TO OTHERS HAS BECOME A NEW CHALLENGE OF MINE AND TRUE HAPPINESS THAT I CAN’T RECIEVE OUT OF A DRY JOKE…where are my real jokes???

 WHERE ARE MY REAL JOKES AND MY TRUE FRIENDS AND MY REAL LAUGHS AND MY HAPPINESS I CRAVE OH SO DESPERATELY!!!!

I AM CONTENT BUT CONTENT IS NOT HAPPY AND HAPPY IS ALL I PLEASE. I THOUGHT AT LEAST YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THAT.

AT LEAST YOU OF ALL BUT, HOW WOULD YOU WHEN I FEAR YOU’RE FIGURING OUT THE TRUE MEANING BEHIND IT ALL YOURSELF.

-Wordyqueen

My mind bleh, yuppp..ohh and any topics you’d want me to type on??

 COMMENT BELOW!!!!ILY GUYS UPDATE REGULARLY AND GIVE ME SOME TOPICS SO IM NOT. ALL MUSH ON YOU LIKE I WAS TONITE!! 

Oh and feel free to make converstion amongst yourselves in the comment section thank you so much for reading this much I apprecaite it!!

-type ya later;)

HAPPY?

 Counselor- “Well Nahndi tell me why you think we have to be happy?”

Nahndi- (suddenly sits up from a slumped position held for 30 minutes out of pure boredom and un-interest)

“we have to be happy?” Clears her throat,  “we have to be happy because the world expects us too if you’re not walking around here with a smile on your face  you’re automatically seen as angry or sappy for no reason, you could have nothing on your mind at that moment and i mean as blank as a white board could get and all they see is someone who is upset with life. Sometimes people are just tired and DONT feel like cheesing in your face, take old people for example they get put through so much crap with not being paid off for working there whole life or kids dont wanna see them and they’re expected to be cherry, half these children in these school systems excuse me more than half”

counselor- (squints her eyes)

“are depressed, and most of the parents have no clue or dont care enough. Not even that but its just.. We as children want to experience all there is but all these darn setbacks and we’re expected to smile all day, and make teachers fell warm, why when some of us during the winter struggle to stay that way, and its the government that’s killing our spirits but no.. We’re just mad or sad children that don’t understand anything. Not opinionated youth with mindsets to be somewhere else enjoying what god has created.”

Counselor- “You still didn’t answer my question dear.”

Nahndi- “… Well we are expected to be happy for all the people in our lives to keep pushing through all the obstacles and believe with all their hearts that they can be where they believe we are…HAPPY. So no one gives up.. ”

She wipes a tear and then goes back to slumping while the teacher gives her a speech on why she should brighten up a bit more.

Why i wrote this..dont ask me it just came:/