Beautiful Chaos

She yerns she yerns for her work to be poured down someones throat and consumed in a way like no other…”This is great”he said, “No, I mean this is great”.

Though the words register to the forefront of her brain the compliments don’t stay for too long, they subside like everything else he says. Only..my imagination I mean I have to think of it that way or else I’ll end up falling and falling and falling. Digging my way out of this dirt would take nearly to long to enjoy my the year in peace while, seeing him is something I’d be forced to see, so I avoid…shove out. Stop thinking when he never thought of you!…this is a process that comes new and now you have to get use to telling yourself ,friendship is the only alternative so falling is a mistake you wont want to make. Stay in your place, be the friend he doesn’t bother to call or text,be the friend that sits in a desk making conversation to pass the minutes by and minimize the pain you feel inside.

Step one, when you stare in his eyes don’t look away because after a while he’ll stop looking back and then you’ll know that he doesnt feel the same for you. Darling but, you look again and there he is staring at you. We’re just friends that pretend seeking love is the least of our hobby and hope becomes something secreative to hold.I give up. 

The chats are less and less andawkwardness  lurks in the air of silence until, I say something or he smiles and mentions events in his life otherwise…we are strangers, who went to the same school for nearly 4 years, looking for love in consecutive patterns that never turn to peek at what’s waiting for them..the chase is inevitable and my falling has caused an eruption of…BEAUTIFULCHOS I CAN’T STOP.

NOW MY BODY IS NUMB AND MY MIND WANDERS ABOUT THE LOVE, THE LOVE, THE LOVE I THINK I SEE IN THE HALLWAYS EVERYDAY. THE LOVE THAT MY MOTHER ONCE HAD WITH A SIGNIFACNT OTHER I HAVEN’T MET,THE LOVE THAT CONVINCED HER TO KEEP ME AN ALIVE GROWNIG BEING AND NOW A BEAUTIFUL QUEEN WITH A PRINCESS AS A SIBLING WHO RULE THE ROOMS CONSISTING OF SECRECTS WE KEEP FROM OURSELVES AND OTHERS…BUT WIH PASSIONS THAT SHOW THE WORLD WE TRULY RULE WITH A PURPOSE  AND THE REASON BEHIND OUR CROWNING WAS FAIR. 

THE LOVE THAT THE SUN PROVIDE TO THE FLOWERS,HE HAS ME THINKING ABOUT A MILLION THINGS AND ONE.

 AND WHY WE DONT TALK AS MUCH AS I FIRST THOUGHT WE WERE TO AND WHY COMMUNICATING TO OTHERS HAS BECOME A NEW CHALLENGE OF MINE AND TRUE HAPPINESS THAT I CAN’T RECIEVE OUT OF A DRY JOKE…where are my real jokes???

 WHERE ARE MY REAL JOKES AND MY TRUE FRIENDS AND MY REAL LAUGHS AND MY HAPPINESS I CRAVE OH SO DESPERATELY!!!!

I AM CONTENT BUT CONTENT IS NOT HAPPY AND HAPPY IS ALL I PLEASE. I THOUGHT AT LEAST YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THAT.

AT LEAST YOU OF ALL BUT, HOW WOULD YOU WHEN I FEAR YOU’RE FIGURING OUT THE TRUE MEANING BEHIND IT ALL YOURSELF.

-Wordyqueen

My mind bleh, yuppp..ohh and any topics you’d want me to type on??

 COMMENT BELOW!!!!ILY GUYS UPDATE REGULARLY AND GIVE ME SOME TOPICS SO IM NOT. ALL MUSH ON YOU LIKE I WAS TONITE!! 

Oh and feel free to make converstion amongst yourselves in the comment section thank you so much for reading this much I apprecaite it!!

-type ya later;)

Fun

Fun. Fun the word rolling off the tip of my tongue. How I love to play with the way its said, it makes my mind jump straight to how the way it was. It was..

A stream runs down my face at the rememberence of us no longer clinging on to this so called communication that only hearts like us would call….a beat.

A beat that ran too long to be considered one.


The way your mind would struggle for the words  to speak on topics that’d just be was odd to me. Strangley odd how it took hearing my voice for you to speak. Now what’s that call?… not weird. But, a one way wired friendship, which I actually  called you out on,and you fixed.

But you see you fixed it in ways i couldnt imagine.. From Distance to sweet nothings to poetry that was raw and unlikely to hear from someone, who speaks of a seat that we no longer sit on, for days on end with nothing to say about it but..”ouch”… I think I turned you into a romantic who thinks of nothing but…romance. And if I may add the way we ended was..somewhat romantic but let’s  not tap into that topic,my point is all things aren’t  meant to last. You were a plastic rose when we first met and once I added paint to your synthetic color you bloomed into a temporary time bomb of memories and so on that we’re unfortunately unforgettable in a way that makes me want to forget.

July 10th 2016..:/

This prose i would like to call it:/ was more so an eye opening lesson for me that not everyone in your life is meant to last, and sooner or later most relationships formed in highschool or even ones you’d think last die,not all, some are special but this one in particular did for me. Comment below of you’d like of any end to your relationships..I’d like to get to know my readers:)if I have any:/)