Mind is a she??

We have to accept that life happens. That things get out of hand,that tests become some of our biggest threats. Making us want to break down, when we should be standing up again. We have to understand that life happens for reasons we don’t comprehend. How dealing with bad news can  get the best of us,and stop us from reaching that inner peace everyone is starving for. How we’ve got to stop pretending that our problems are eraseable…and even if it were humanly possible  there would never be enough rubber to go round filling the voids of those who depend on it for each and every conflict thrown at them so… may i introduce you all to

..  mind,she burns brighter than anything on this earth,even the sun itself is scared of the knowlegde she carries for it’ll figure the formulas to her recipie of simply being the most loveliest being,there is…

Sometimes we as people don’t realize the power we hold to turn certain situations back around,how to make a difference for ourselves  and others we feel need help.

I know this is cliche but, a calling those who don’t see themselves as the loveliest being working towards figuring out the formulas the sun holds to be brighter. You are needed for a reason only understandable to you. So put your beloved mind out there and be as bright as the sun will allow because, life is ahead of you.
Yes i know this title is odd i just came up with it so dont judge and btw this is an old draft never posted;) so hurray for my courage in posting it.

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Read it and weap

Read it and weap because, those are the only words I have to say for this post read it and weap beacuse, another life has been taken, from this earth by a cause unknown to us. I’m so sick of death yes, it leads to rebirth and is the process of life but, he was my age.  I didn’t know him but, knew people who did, this is making me angry and sappy beacuse there is nothing to be reckoned with, when death steps onto your front door. 

Today it asked for the life of an innocent. I don’t know the causes but I hope the lethalness was peaceful. I am almost to tears over a boy I never even met, maybe because I have a heart the size of the giant brain that lives in my head…

 Tomorrow will be mourning for the school and boy I’m scared,I’m  scared I’ll be titled 

The girl who cried over his death, having nothing to do with it, the girl he didn’t   know.

This thought may show how huge my heart is but doesn’t make up for the pain these dear young people my age feel due to knowning him. And “I’m sorry ” has rolled off the tip of my tongue nearly 5 times today and I’m already done.Feeling numb over something I can’t change, or yet again have nothing to do with me. I’m glad god didn’t introduce me to him because, i know I couldn’t have handled this type of tragedy. Looking from the outside in I already am developing problem, so I think I’m okay for today. Maybe not tomorrow but today I’m fine, I may be fine tomorrow to if I can hold my water as well as I’m doing now, I want to cry but no tears are falling out so we’ll see what happens. My condolences for the ones who knew him as Sam. 

RIP,SAM 

I know you’re in a better place…..

Acceptance Speech

It’s bigger than you it’s bigger than me. It’s bigger than the sea, that makes a calling so pretty. It’s bigger than the sun combined with the earth..its love, its life, its the process of all of us that never ends.

It’s being free in a sucluded space when your home alone dancing to whatever the radio has on, its eating plain chips with ketchup praying that your mom doesn’t return home to see this action being done, it’s the you can’t breathe that much laughter filling the whole room and the warmth of your chest as you feel your heart pounding. It’s  fear that leaks from the root of your mind, “anxiety” tackling the smile kept intact for as long as you tried . It’s the doubt you feel when the quiz just wasn’t the right quiz or when today justwasn’t  like yesterday and you’re not as joyful as you wish to be! Its when all that sadness is supressed by a memory of happiness then you see your friend around the corner thinking to yourself..”I got this”, its when life isn’t easy anymore and you have just accepted it.

 

 

 

 

 

This is my acceptance speech to one of the hardest things in life…living
~Aug.12th

Sorry its not that…good im a little rough havent written in a little bit like a week or 2 but thank you for support.

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Prompt For Me

Tell me what to think because I can no longer see the words painted for me in a made up prompt thats called my life. Created to pave ways for my future and enlight the hope I have for better days. Honestly im stuck, and I suck and yes I’m cynical at times,and being cynical never got anyone anywhere. But, I hope this will help me move on:/ I’m stuck and I suck. I need help on finding the words to pinpoint the emotions I feel either everyday or every second I spend on this earth because with out it, how am I suppose to remember why I enjoy what I’m doing. Or even why I bother spending my time with happiness or why the hell I feel it. Why it makes me who I am or what specific things make me different from every other person who wonders the same question.

Orientation Night

It’s never as it seems. All the notebooks and fresh paint can’t take up for the feeling that’s eating you up inside, the memories, taunt you like a clown would at a circus. The name new beginings  isn’t as effective as I thought.

How’s it gonna be when I get there will I be happy will I be sad or just plain lost, there’s no way of telling or preparing myself for whats to come, all i have is hope that things will slide right into place and even if it doesnt work for me, i hope someone may have a brighter year and get things done.

But more so I really would like to be efficent and make a difference that comes with every new begining and club and face that see, create and embrace. I guess all there is to do now is be.

I wrote this the night before my orientation trying to compare my thoughts previous with the ones that are going through my head now, looks like I’ve gotten what I asked for. A new start with no familar faces to see during class and no familiar faces to sit with during lunch by familiar, I mean someone I’d actually be enjoying my time with having known them about a year or so. But everything happens the way its suppose to and for a special reason maybe clarity is given in this new year of mine..who knows

~ Wordyqueen;)

Fun

Fun. Fun the word rolling off the tip of my tongue. How I love to play with the way its said, it makes my mind jump straight to how the way it was. It was..

A stream runs down my face at the rememberence of us no longer clinging on to this so called communication that only hearts like us would call….a beat.

A beat that ran too long to be considered one.


The way your mind would struggle for the words  to speak on topics that’d just be was odd to me. Strangley odd how it took hearing my voice for you to speak. Now what’s that call?… not weird. But, a one way wired friendship, which I actually  called you out on,and you fixed.

But you see you fixed it in ways i couldnt imagine.. From Distance to sweet nothings to poetry that was raw and unlikely to hear from someone, who speaks of a seat that we no longer sit on, for days on end with nothing to say about it but..”ouch”… I think I turned you into a romantic who thinks of nothing but…romance. And if I may add the way we ended was..somewhat romantic but let’s  not tap into that topic,my point is all things aren’t  meant to last. You were a plastic rose when we first met and once I added paint to your synthetic color you bloomed into a temporary time bomb of memories and so on that we’re unfortunately unforgettable in a way that makes me want to forget.

July 10th 2016..:/

This prose i would like to call it:/ was more so an eye opening lesson for me that not everyone in your life is meant to last, and sooner or later most relationships formed in highschool or even ones you’d think last die,not all, some are special but this one in particular did for me. Comment below of you’d like of any end to your relationships..I’d like to get to know my readers:)if I have any:/)