Aching for a sensation that never comes…Seven i was…seven
Soul shaking standing in the room listening to the word participating in what I know my faith lies in…you... I was three three four and five. I was all of them.
Breath taken I stood as profanity came out the mouth of those my age, what would cause such words of unappreciative meanings to dwindle in the wind to be whispered into an ear of innocence I was ten..
Heart wreching I sat waiting on a response from my best friend I told him my true feelings which he already had a clue, lets start over he said the words nearly making my mouth tremor with fear,and there I sat having nothing to say or do…I was 11
From 12-14 the struggles are unmentionable, lies are slim but still evident as I discovered how puffy my cheeks had become over the years and the aches in my head would they ever stop and the slumber keeping me from falling into mood swings I felt wouldn’t stop…the smoke piling up to fill my lungs only to be washed out by the cool rain from which my lord pours down..I know he was listening to the prayers we spoke in undertones of needy cries…
I’m just fine. The problems have been resolved but the issues I’ve faced doesn’t make me feel any better when he tells me…” I don’t think me talking to you would make a difference.”
Push out! push out! push out!
All I ever wanted was to silencethe lies that sliver between the teeth of what I felt was worth more than just a personality. But a soul, a living soul that has postive and negative attributes only trying to build and make life lighterfor those around to feel…But, I guess that was just me.
I’m not really affected by these things they just happened, most…im pretty sure all are true and have shaped me into how I think of others today, where my hesitiation lies and my personal views of life, im sure im a hypocrite about something in particular but am not willing to share which, I also don’t feel comfortable wih sharing translations so plz no questions.